I Have Loved Flowers That Fade
by artamisward
Summary: Short series of vignettes depicting pieces of the life of Princess Anna of Arendelle, in reverse.


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters and all that jazz.

* * *

**I Have Loved Flowers That Fade**

The Queen wears black.

All Arendelle weeps and mourns, their faces hidden behind ash and dust covered hands.

The pyre burns incandescently against the night sky. Anna would approve. She loved the sky being awake with light.

Glove covered hands clutch tightly at one another as the temperature steadily drops. There is no snow or ice but the cold is bitter. It seeps the heat out of everything, even the fire licking the sky with orange tongues.

The cold drives the people away. Their wailing follows them to their homes and taverns where they will toast the memory of a great royal.

Elsa is left only to watch the play of flame across a wrapped body. She doesn't cry. She has searched for tears and release. But they don't come. A terrible stillness resides within her chest, all the movement and life lying on the pyre burning slowly to ash. The hole inside her is unfillable, gaping in memoriam to the one who could fill all emptiness and loneliness.

It has taken her decades to learn, and decades more to accept, that she is the daughter of Skadi. She is the goddess of Justice, Vengeance, and Righteous Anger.

She is eternal.

She is alone.

Elsa doesn't cry as she watches the fire die. She doesn't cry as she encases the pyre in unbreakable ice and raises a detailed likeness of her sister atop the frozen pyre. She doesn't cry as she walks haltingly away from the final resting place of Anna, Princess of Arendelle, Healer, Warrior, Lover, Sister, and Beloved, who slipped from life to join the bright lights that awaken the night.

* * *

_Have you spoken to our friends in Corona? Don't lose touch with them, Elsa…_

The words come with more frequency now.

_Maybe you should travel for a while, Elsa, and get out of Arendelle after…_

They make Elsa's heart squeeze painfully every time Anna drops them from her lips.

_I will always watch over you, Elsa. But, you can't lose yourself because of me…_

"Elsa," the voice is rough with sleep, "why are you awake?"

"The sky is awake," Elsa teases gently, "so I'm awake."

"Ha!" Anna gets up slowly from her prone position, her bones creaking when she finally stands. "Very funny, young lady." Her lined face turns up in smile at her own joke.

Elsa rolls her eyes but quickly moves to Anna's side to help her walk to the window seat. Anna feels so frail against her. Elsa trembles with fear at the knowledge.

Anna sits and heaves a heavy sigh, her blue eyes—dimmed little by age—turn to look up at the dancing lights in the night sky.

Elsa watches her quietly, tracing the contours of a face lined with laughter and happiness. A soft hand slips into hers and she looks down before lifting the weathered hand to her lips.

"I'm sorry," Anna says quietly, "You didn't have to stay with me you know."

Elsa doesn't speak but she kisses the crown of white hair, then a forehead, then closed eyes, then a pointed nose, then soft cheeks, and then slightly opened lips. She kisses Anna like she's always kissed Anna, like she's air, like she's life, like she's the entire world.

"You're beautiful. Age cannot rob that from you." Elsa presses Anna's head to her chest. "You hear that?" A nod prompts her to continue. "It beats for you. Always."

"I will die soon." Anna hugs Elsa tightly. "Don't die with me."

Silence fills their room and the space between them, but it's comfortable and easy even with that heavy knowledge. Though, Anna can hear Elsa's heart beating faster than it was before.

* * *

It's obvious. They need to talk about it. But, Elsa puts it off as long as possible, disliking the implications.

Anna sticks a slice of chocolate cake under her nose, completely disregarding the book in her hands. Elsa puts her book aside and takes the offered plate carefully. "We don't usually eat this stuff so late…so, I either did something really good, or you did something really bad."

Elsa watches the twitch of lips but Anna suppresses her smile.

"Just eat."

They eat in companionable silence, firelight flickering across their faces. Elsa studies Anna; she looks at the white strands of hair that streak Anna's temples, the faint laugh lines around her eyes and mouth, the aura of grace that has developed with the passage of time. "You're so beautiful."

"So are you," Anna savors her chocolate, eyes not on Elsa at all but on the brilliant hues of green playing across the night sky, "and completely unchanged by time."

Elsa frowns. They're talking about it now.

"Maybe I'm just aging extremely well," Elsa say offhandedly.

"I'm aging extremely well, Elsa," Anna points a fork at Elsa, her eyes finally fixing on the blonde, "You're not aging at all."

And, there it is. Elsa stops eating, suddenly losing her appetite. Anna follows suit.

They stare at each other.

Elsa looks away first. "I don't know why, Anna. I didn't even notice until a few years ago when your hair started changing color naturally. It's most likely my power."

"It doesn't matter why," Anna clasps their hands together across the space between them, "But, you must know what this could mean."

Elsa's heart flutters desperately against her chest, the room cools. "We have many years yet."

* * *

The ice castle is magnificent. Everything about it is perfect. Anna wanders aimlessly for a moment before she spots the woman who created it.

Light filters in through the ceiling and Elsa is radiant in its beams.

"Anna?" The question is more disbelief than anything else. Elsa stares at her sister; Anna isn't afraid of her. The revelation spreads warmth through her. That is the moment she falls in love with Anna.

And, Elsa is less afraid.

A kind of light spreads out from Elsa...from Anna. And everything changes color. And the world opens out. And a day is good to awaken to, not only the night. And there are no limits to anything, only opportunities. And the people of the world are good and handsome, like Elsa…like Anna.

And, Anna isn't afraid.

That is the moment Anna falls in love with Elsa. As she appears resplendent at the top of the staircase, in her magnificent ice castle, the princess's heart pumps an emotion she has always felt toward Elsa, but now it flows through her veins different somehow: stronger, deeper, fuller.

Anna stares at her in wonder. Elsa looks so different, so uninhibited. So free. The light filtering in bounces off her and shines brightly in refracted light. Elsa is, in that moment, a goddess. And, Anna her most humble and dedicated worshiper.

* * *

"Go to sleep, Anna," Elsa burrows her head deeper under her covers, trying to ignore her little sister's enthusiastic tugs.

"I can't," a high, bubbly voice whines as she plops down on top of her sister. "The sky is awake so I'm awake."

Elsa smiles at the answer she gets every night, "You just ate too much chocolate. You know that's why Mom and Dad don't let you have any after dinner."

"But it's sooooooo gooooood," Anna gushes, "better than anything."

Elsa takes the opportunity to shove Anna off her. A thump let's her know her sister fell of the bed; she immediately feels bad. "Anna," she scampers to the edge of the bed, peeking over at the lump on the floor.

Blue eyes stare up at Elsa. "Except you."

"What?" Elsa crawls out of bed and checks Anna to see if she got hurt.

"You're better than chocolate." Anna says it like the most important thing in the entire world.

Elsa understands it is. "You're better than chocolate, too, Anna."

The redhead smiles and pulls Elsa to the large window overlooking Arendelle. "One day," Anna clutches Elsa's hands excitedly, "I'm going up there." She points up at the night sky ablaze with colorful light before pressing her face against the glass to stare. "I'm going to keep the sky awake every night."


End file.
